Top Ten Reasons Our "Homeland" Is Not Secure

Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff has proven he can't fix any of this stuff, so he might as well close up shop, go home and save us all a bunch of money. The lowered expectations will make everyone feel better immediately.

10.Michael Brown-type cronyism has hopelessly diluted the D.C. talent pool.

9. James Dobson has insider information about Harriet Miers.

8. Judith Miller is free to report the news again.

7. A 64-year old former sixth-grade teacher can still get beaten on the street for no good reason in New Orleans.

6. Tom DeLay is still working the House floor.

5. Dick Cheney is still Vice President.

4. It took us a week to figure out the NY subway scare was a hoax.

3. Government cluelessness about the Avian Flu.

2. Government response to Hurricane Katrina.

1. George W. Bush is still President.