Freedom From Fear
"The feelings we refuse to feel rule our lives."
-- Rhonda Britten
"When we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere."
-- Martha Beck in O magazine
"A great deal of talent is lost in this world for want of a little courage."
-- a quote I saved in my wallet from an old copy of Glamour magazineThe other day a friend said he was glad to see my blog back after a month's vacation. I was flattered until he added, "I hope you put a little meat back into it."
When last we saw my blog, I was becoming, quite frankly, a blog whore. After enjoying some HUGE spikes in readership around the time of Hurricane Katrina, I started checking the number of blog hits several times a day. When things slowed down, I posted a Maureen Dowd column -- she has a HUGE readership. In the end, my blog stopped being about my perceptions as I posted more and more NYT columnists. Lest you think I was a total slut, let me remind you that I NEVER posted Thomas Friedman! I do have SOME standards.
But here's the deal. The new year brought a new focus. We kicked it off with wishes for the best of luck for everyone we know. We ate pork, black-eyed peas, collard greens, almond cake, drank champagne. EVERY possible good luck consumable I could think of. Our friends received "blessings bracelets" and as the fireworks exploded on the Space Needle, we kissed 2005 GOODBYE and GOOD RIDDANCE and high hopes for 2006.
So far, the new focus is bringing good things. My beloved has enough work to keep him out of trouble (not out of the bars, just out of trouble) for a few months and my therapy seems to be finally kicking in. I'd still like to know where the hell this extra 60 pounds came from, but that's for another blog entry (and maybe another year).
The point is, I'm trying to focus my time and energy on making this the best year EVER and the blog is gonna have to work WITH the process, not IN ADDITION to it, regardless of the hits I get. Nobody needs me to remind them one more time that the Bushies are corrupt evil faschists. I'm going to do my bit for the 2006 and 2008 elections, but in the meantime, I gotta get my own house in order.
So for now, I'm writing about stuff that may seem meatless to some, but nourishes me. No more fear about whether anyone's going to read my blog or think it's stupid.
And speaking of fear, (you can tell by this smooth segue-way that I used to work in radio, can't you?) I have become convinced that the most dangerous force holding us back -- even worse than the Bushies -- is fear.
- Fear of what people think about us keeps us from speaking out.
- Fear of what people might say about us keeps us from doing what's right.
- Fear of change depletes us.
- Fear of scarcity keeps us from being generous and tolerant.
- Fear of losing our house or job keeps us from asking for justice.
in an overheated dryer."
Come on. An opening sentence like that deserves a read!
Something else to check out: The Best Year of Your Life website