You're Gonna Have To Get Your Hands Dirty
This is from Frederick Douglass, who knew a struggle when he saw one:
Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation are people who want crops without plowing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the roar of its many waters. The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand; it never has and it never will.This is what I think of when I hear subtle insults of those who take action. Women like to call other women who are outspoken "mouthy," as if it is unattractive and inappropriate to speak up for yourself. Or activists might be insulted for their "tone" or for being confrontational. Comments like those are the invisible hands of the status quo that want to grab you by the shoulders and press downward.
It's like your mother said, "anything worth having is worth fighting for."