B.F.N!

Cher's voice fades in...
"I'm standing on the edge of nowhere...
There's only one way up."
The message on the screen reads: "There's more than one woman who thinks she's the fattest woman in the room." The pretty, plus-size woman in the ad is wearing a BEAUTIFUL black beaded halter dress and the only unattractive thing about her is her frown.

Yes, it's this season's Weight Watchers commercial, sung to the tune of "Song for the Lonely" -- nice message to overweight people. Makes me want to grab my wallet and run for a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Because I'm fat, I'm lonely, huh?

During New Year's week, Katie Couric walked up to Richard Simmons, stuck a microphone in his face, and asked him why Americans are getting so fat.

Richard's face became deadly serious and his voice dripped with sincerity. "Self worth," he intoned,"People just feel worthless." No mention of increasingly sedentary lifestyles, less and less time to cook and take care of ourselves...

One of the current spokespersons for the L.A. Weight Loss Clinic extolls how different her life is now that she has lost weight. Why, she's even met the perfect man and they're getting married! Frankly, I prefer the other spokeswoman who is simply thrilled about wearing a belt. At least she's not promising a flawless future without fat.

Make a list of 20 things that will make your life fabulous if only you were (fill in the blank -- married, thin, smarter). Then, go find someone who IS what you want to be and ask them how many of those 20 things are in THEIR life. My guess? They have the same number of frustrations. Just ask my step-sister the New York model who appeared to have everything -- money, fame, looks. But she never had a decent man in her life and never found a decent career after modelling was over. She ended up killing herself. Must be nice to have it all, huh?

Getting thin DOES remove the old familiar excuse of "when I get thin, I will..." and that's too much for some people to bear. How do I cope with not getting that job if I can't blame it on being too fat? You mean he didn't like me for who I am? Shit! It was a lot easier to blame my hips!

And focusing on dieting certainly keeps your mind active, blocking out anything WORTH thinking about, like, how to improve your community, what kind of hobby you would enjoy, or the plot of a book you've always wanted to read. Or maybe where you can find a dress that makes you LOOK as cute as you FEEL when no one else is looking at your butt.

So...here's what I want to SCREAM at that woman in the cute black dress on the Weight Watchers commercial (right after I find out where she bought that dress):

Don't Wait!
Be Fabulous Now!

I swear, if she did, she would NOT be going home alone like in that commercial. A little confidence, some well-choreographed eye contact, touching, a smile and she could get LAID in a heartbeat!

As the wise author Jessica Weiner says, life for someone with a dieter's mentality always starts on Monday morning. But the subtitle of her new book accurately notes: "Life doesn't begin five pounds from now." These days we can re-name the Beckett play (where no one shows up) "Waiting For Monday Morning." Same result.

I'm not advising that you throw in the towel by not taking care of yourself. Yes, you should get enough sleep; yes, you should try to move around a little; and yes, you should eat healthy food. Get to work on time, take care of your kids, etc.

But no matter how much stuff you have to do, DON'T wait to be FABULOUS.

Fabulous doesn't record the number on the scale
Fabulous doesn't need expensive clothes
Fabulous doesn't require the right pedigree
Fabulous doesn't expect the proper education
Fabulous doesn't look at your resume

Fabulous just needs you to own it. Look in the mirror and claim it. Shake your head and declare yourself to be fabulous as you walk out the door. Anyone who disagrees should just "mind their own beeswax" (see previous blog entry).

Fabulous is waiting for you to grab it NOW.

B.F.N.

Be Fabulous Now!