Big Girls DO Cry

Disclaimer: This blog entry is NO comment on Valentine's Day. I hope you have have a lovely one, now matter WHAT your relationship status may be. Have chocolate if you can. And champagne.

This is getting to be pet peeve of mine: people who are ashamed of crying or see it as a sign of weakness. Now, I'm not talking about crying at work or school to get attention or because you just lose it. I'm talking about the really good, therapeutic, multi-hanky, boo-hoo, sometimes gulping, purge-your-soul crying.

I know, crying sometimes feels like when you are sick and you know you'll feel a lot better if you just barf. But you don't want to barf cuz that feels yucky. That's what therapeutic crying is like: you just have to give yourself over to it and you will feel a LOT better after. What's the worst that can happen? You have to re-apply your make-up and buy more Kleenex? Big whoop!

It may seem strange to give yourself permission to revisit some pain or yearning that still calls out for attention. Letting the tears flow and is precious to your well-being. Especially if you ask yourself "What am I feeling right now?" You may not like the answer, but that's not the point. The point is you ARE FEELING it. Most of us eat, smoke, drink, sleep or stay busy, ANYTHING to keep from feeling those feelings. Afraid they might hurt us or kill us. But they won't. And once you learn that you are stronger than your feelings and you CAN bear them, your personal power becomes unlimited.

I once heard a guy on "Oprah" say if he cries, that means the villain won. Let's be real about this. Crying takes courage. Hell, it takes balls! The world tells you not to do it, so to FEEL something and be able to express it. That's brave.

I think I cried for three years straight when I went through divorce. But I figure, hey, that must mean it was a significant event to let go of. Life is like a sponge and the older you get or the deeper the connection, the bigger your sponge. It can take a while to wring out a really big sponge and it's worth every drop if it means you can move on. Otherwise, you're just adding up more miles on your emotional treadmill.

Nowadays, if something hits me hard, I just let the tears go, no matter where I am. And it's sometimes at the strangest places and times when they come. Rarely is there someone there to stop me or tell me not to cry. I think people get it that we all have pain and we all have to let it go sometimes. If they don't, that's THEIR issue, not yours.

So turn on the waterworks every once in awhile. A few tears never hurt anybody.